With my first house, it didn't make sense to hire someone to do the landscaping. It was such a small job so I did it myself. I didn’t mind, nor did I consider it a chore as much. Mindless activity has always been a way for me to do some good thinking. So, from this I learned that weeds are really hard to get rid of. I mean, you go in thinking, just pull them up out of the ground, but they’re really hard to do away with for good. Weeds are no different than any other plant when it comes to the root system. If they sprout strong above ground, that's because they have a sturdy root system underground. More than once, I thought about how weeds are like bad habits and ideas that we tend to pick up from the environment we're born into, and in some cases, even our culture. Ideas that can end up causing all kinds of chaos, and might also keep us from having the life we want. To me, the worst ideas, and habits, represent the most stubborn of all weeds, the ones that get wedged between cracks in the cement. Those could be the thoughts and actions we go to automatically. Getting rid of the bad ideas and habits, I’ve learned, isn’t easy. It takes diligence, and a good plan.One thing I've learned about studying groups is that they often assign roles to members. The role may not be the best for that person to use in playing out his or her life successfully, but it may fit in a way to maintain the status quo of the group they belong to. Ideas about how we should live and think are often assigned to us. In a perfect world, these ideas would bring us to our full potential. Unfortunately, if the information we receive about life is flawed then our root system is flawed. It's hard to work around a flawed system while trying to bring out your best. A person can live, for decades, based on the roots of their environment, wondering why the above ground, springing up from their learned habits and ideas, doesn't match up to what they think it should be.
Healthy roots are the anchors of every plant. They help keep it steady. I don't want to go too deep into the plant analogy, but the roots are also responsible for secreting certain enzymes that prevent plant disease. In terms of our own root system, the environment and culture familiar to us, may not only distort how we view our place in the world, but it might also make us sick. The goal should be to keep your own root system strong like with an actual garden, by digging up the roots of those weeds and planting something healthy and pleasing to the soul. We're all gifted in one way or another, but sometimes, these gifts are buried under a thicket of weeds. This thicket of weeds might also be the reason we run into trouble with big life decisions having to do with money, career and relationships. Are the weeds in your garden limiting you? It's so easy to be what others expect, especially when their expectations are on the low side. It's been my experience that following on the path of low expectations makes you feel less alive and less productive. This can kill the potential for what might be an amazing garden, filled with radiant, exotic flowers and leave you with a, neglected, eye sore patch of land overrun by weeds.
The thing I've learned about change is that once you get over the fear, you start to look forward to it because it just about always leads to a new chapter in life. We love the familiar because it makes us feel, not necessarily good, but safe. Deciding to change, might mean stepping outside the boundaries of the familiar and into a new space. We all like to say that life's a journey. If we really believe it, then we shouldn't be afraid to move forward. The first step to change is a decision to simply do something different. Change can be the helpmate of hope. It's true that change takes courage. If you don't think you have it, move forward anyway. You won't know you do until you get over to the other side. With change, there may be some missteps, but keep it moving. As church folk often say, “the test will be your testimony” about how you overcame and you got rid of the weeds by, completely, digging up those roots. It's a testimony not just for you to feel better, so calm down. Your testimony gives you a story to tell, so harvest a sense of humility. You may find yourself telling your story in unexpected spaces because it's more likely that it will be most effective when it’s told in the trenches. Someone needs to hear that sometimes we’re blessed, not because life is easy, but because it isn’t. We can be blessed by those challenges that make it necessary for us to move. We can be blessed simply because we’re able to get up in the morning with the wherewithal to move forward. When you decide to get at those roots, you’ll feel blessed by the circumstances that compel you to cultivate the courage to grow. There were more than a few times, during my journey, where faith sat me down in front of someone who told a story about how they overcame a situation, and that story motivated me to push forward. Giving birth to change requires that you push the new roots up above the surface and into the sunlight, so those pesky weeds won't have any room. I've learned to be watchful of influences, not just with ideas but also people and even places. It took me a long time to see that place is very important, even when you really don't want to be there, sometimes especially when you don't want to be there. In your frustration, take a good look around you because you're probably there for a reason. Of course, when you’re digging up roots, changing the environment is inevitable. Accept the challenge of new faces. Get out among people who match up to your gifts and potential, or who are simply motivated to be better. Don't be afraid to share your desire for change with others who are supportive. Don’t ever believe you’re not enough to sit in the company of people who can help you get to where you want, or need to be.
I'm coming up on a little over a decade of digging up roots, sometimes having them re-sprout, usually when I get distracted, and then having to repeat the process, but I'm still moving forward. I'm gaining ground. I know some people say it's not good to look back, but for me it works, just probably not in the way you might think. I don't look back because I want to be back there. I look back because every time I see how far I've come, I'm motivated even more to keep it moving.
For the most part, personality can't be changed, but you can change your behavior and your reactions to any situation. Add gratefulness to your garden. Gratefulness helps you spot the good in what may seem to be the worst situations. Keep digging out and pulling up. Knowing that every problem you think you have presents a teachable moment, and in that moment those weeds cannot hide. That teachable moment is the seed that can help move you forward. Life, if you're doing it right, is a never-ending journey. You'll always be moving into, and through, new challenges and victories. That’s the best part about being alive. Make the decision to dig up some of your roots that are simply not working for you, and to get rid of them for good. From that point on, you'll always be moving toward a better you.
Looking for Love: How to Avoid Relationships that Might Mess up Your Life and Decisions Are Destiny: Short Lessons on Decision Making and Life Wisdom for Teens and Young Adults are both available now on Amazon Kindle.
© 2018 Diane Coleman No part of this work, written by the author, may be reproduced, reposted for any website, or print publication, without prior permission.
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